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Marc Segar 1974-1997


A Survival Guide for People with Asperger Syndrome

Coming Clean

  • Amongst certain groups of people, you might decide that you want to come clean and tell them that you are autistic. This is entirely your own choice.
  • You might, however, wish to tell just one person in the group (preferably the one who is friendliest towards you) in which case if you want it kept a secret, it might be a good idea to say so, otherwise the message might spread behind your back and it can be extremely difficult to tell whether or not people know.
  • If you are coming clean for the first time in your life, it might be a very difficult move but as people find out, they might become a little less hostile and a little more accepting.
  • On the other hand, you might have come clean to so many different people that you are sick and tired of saying it.
  • You might find coming clean a more effective tactic as you get older. People who are caring and mature might bring many things to your attention in order to be constructive. However, it is better if they do this while there are just the two of you in the room.
  • Coming clean might make some people very interested in you and may give you a lot to talk about.
  • If the message that you are autistic gets to someone who has been giving you a particularly hard time, it may make them feel guilty and do some good, but not always.
  • The worst reaction you can get is when people become more hostile towards you because of having found out. This will nearly always be from people who didn't like you much to start with or who have little or no knowledge of autism.
  • To deal with people who don't believe you when you say you are autistic can be difficult but to have a detailed understanding of the problem can be very helpful in shattering the myths (e.g. when people say you can't possibly be autistic because you make too much eye contact).
  • Amongst children or young teenagers, it might be a better idea if you do not come clean, at least until you know them very well.
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